Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
