whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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