Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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