Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
