i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Life is so much better after having sex.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
