I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
