I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
