im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
