you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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