I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
