I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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