I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Pooping to opera.
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