I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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