Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
