the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
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