Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
