They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
