Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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