do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
