Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
