I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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