Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
