This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
