this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
