My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
