I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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