So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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