Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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