You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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