and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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