you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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