imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
