Barsexuality is the new black.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize