Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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