i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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