Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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