I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i drank out of a bidet.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
