wakey wakey hands off snakey
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
either way he was missing a nipple.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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