i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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