It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
