Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
