I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
