is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
You did what with his pubic hair?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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