Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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