thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Alive.
So much puke
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
