I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I have grass duct taped all over my body
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
