Its about making memories worth repressing
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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