And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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