Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
