we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
