oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
