I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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