Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
