Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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