She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
