You made me cry and you don't even care
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize