but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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