once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
