Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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