There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize