I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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