haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
