Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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