physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
