woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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